In this Update:
- Certified (AGAIN) at Last
- The Forgotten Florida Adventure
- Happy Birthday
Certified (AGAIN) at Last
As a nurse, I always believed that being certified in your specialty is a must. It shows dedication and commitment to your profession – and let’s face it: nurses LOVE to add letters behind their name/signature block. But these certification exams are so nerve-wracking, especially since I have significant testing anxiety. And just like with the Certified Emergency Nurse (CEN) certification, I made plans for taking the Certified Healthcare Simulation Educator (CHSE) exam but then never actually signed up. But eventually, I paid the (hefty) fee, and set a date. Granted, I had to wait until I could show two years of experience in healthcare simulation, but that was also the excuse of being in the “I will” vs. “I do” mode.
When it became clear that I had to look for a new (simulation-related) job in October last year, I revived my efforts and participated in a ($350) CHSE Blueprint Prep course. But I still put the actual CHSE application on my “I will” list. However, In February, when I started my new position as National Simulation Educator, I kicked my own butt and got the process started. I prepared as good as I could, did sample questions, read up on simulation operations policies, learning theories, and the like. I didn’t really get into study mode until three weeks prior, which is exactly what happened when I took the CEN… Fast forward to May 6th, 2022, the day had come.
Driving to the testing center is always a challenge, especially since I had to drive across town and was a bundle of anxiety. What if I don’t pass this ($495) exam?? I didn’t want to announce to others that I was taking the CHSE, but a few people knew. By the time I made it, I was already in need of a shower and change of clothes… But at least I found the place and arrived in one piece.
It doesn’t help that the “intake process” at the testing center is rather intimidating. It feels like going to prison, where all your belongings are locked away and you must turn your pockets inside out to prove that you don’t have anything on you to cheat. Like that could even happen, with cameras capturing your every move during the exam.
The nice lady then showed me to my computer and started the program. My eyesight has been very funky over the last few weeks for some reason, and the bright white background and font that was so hard to read, and that didn’t help me relax at all. I started the exam, and when I clicked “next” after question 14, I got he “circle of death”, then everything went white. Awesome, I broke the computer… I alarmed the lady, who ended up shutting down the computer to reboot the system. At least my input up to that point was saved, and I (again drenched in sweat on the verge of a nervous breakdown) continued on the torture’s path toward question 115. The moment when I hit the “are you sure you want to submit?” button, I was so nauseated that I thought I’ll toss the breakfast cookie I forced myself eat that morning. “Circle, circle, circle”…. Score: Passed! I actually blurred out a “ooooh, thank God!!!”, then slapped my hand over my mouth. Kind of like the library, make no noise!
When I exited the testing room, I felt so relieved. The lady on the other side (second testing area) looked at me and asked, “Haven’t I seen you here before?”. Yes mam, this is the place I tend to return to torture myself. First NCLX, then CEN, now the CHSE. Let’s see if I can keep my own “never again” promise to myself this time.
More letters! Iris Appenrodt, MSN, RN, CEN, CHSE
The Forgotten Florida Adventure
Grateful to have crossed the CHSE off my “to-do” list, I was now ready to focus on the next adventure: The Forgotten Florida bikepacking event. This is the last official Singletrack Samurai bike event of the season, and Ralf was (nervously) looking forward to take Coco out for her first serious outing. Over 200 miles through Florida’s most remote and beautiful countryside. Since hotel options were rather limited, we decided to book a hotel in Perry, Florida, which was strategically located sort of in the middle of the loop that Ralf was riding by bike. About 30 minutes to get to the pick-up/drop-off locations was actually not too bad at all, and not having to move every day to another hotel was actually nice.
The first night, however, we stayed in a very small hotel in Steinhatchee, about a three hour drive from home. But I must say, it was… charming and had a laid-back kind of atmosphere. That entire place felt like a blast from the past… from check-in (sporting a mounted phone by the entry) to the actual accommodation. The front desk lady was super-nice, and after she handed us the (actual!) key to the room, we were ready to settle in. The bathroom was tiny, but the closet was as big as a studio apartment in New York City. I did like the kitchen area and overall space though. Wifi was spotty, and you kind of lost signal when moving to the bedroom. But the only real “complaint” we had was the noisy air conditioner, which would kick in randomly throughout the night like a rocket ready to launch into space. Ralf has been a tad scarred from the “Tour de Roach” experience during the Huracan event, but I must say that the room was spacious and clean – just a tad… dated. I do appreciate these opportunities to experience the many facets of Florida that you don’t get to see under normal circumstances.
Steinhatchee was pretty remote, and the only four places to eat there were all owned by locals, with two locations being closed that day. But again, everyone (mostly locals) was very pleasant and welcoming. We ended up going to choice number two, Kathi’s Krab Shack, less than a mile away. We had an awesome Mahi sandwich with fries – a perk when staying in an area that is most famous for freshly caught seafood. After that, we went back to the hotel to prep for the morning and get some rest.
Day 1 (65 miles): Steinhatchee to Mayo, Florida
The main reason for picking the “Steinhatchee Inn & Marina” was the very close proximity to the starting place, which was less than 10 minutes away. Poor Brian had to drive up that morning from Deland – about a 3-hour journey. This was Brian’s first bikepacking adventure since his hip surgery (and subsequent recovery from a blood clot complication) – team Cyborg reunited, so to speak. At least, Day One take off was scheduled for 10 AM, which meant we didn’t have to get up at 4 AM to get ready.
On the short drive over to the Steinhatchee library parking lot (a library combined with recreational outside pavilion and wooden playground), I couldn’t help but notice that the main way of advertisement in this area appeared to be by old-fashioned road signs… a lot of them.
When we got the parking lot, many of the fellow riders were already busy getting their bikes and gear ready for take-off. Brian had also arrived, so we pulled in next to his car and got going as well.
After a group prebrief by Karlos (aka Singletrack Samurai), it was time to get this show on the road.
One thing about May in Florida: bugs are a thriving force – biting yellow flies included. Those mean pests don’t just take a bite out of you by chance: they pursue you! Great motivation to pedal at least at 10 mph on your bike, I suppose. Well, I was not out on a bike but sitting in the driver’s seat of the Element, ready to get to Perry. But first, I had to evict one of those predators that I discovered sitting on the INSIDE of the windshield.
Now it was back to me, the Honda Element, and Red Hot Chili Peppers (Californication). I don’t really have CDs anymore, so this one happens to be the only music on CD to keep me company. Kind of a tradition at this point, lol.
The drive to Perry was very straightforward. In fact, most “major” roads in this part of Florida tend to be straight, which reminded me of driving through rural Indiana. When I got the Holiday Inn Express, I was told that check in wasn’t available until about two hours later. Plan B: find the closet supermarket and get some supplies. Luckily, Walmart was less than a mile away and offered what I needed, including air conditioning.
At last, I was ready to check in and inspect the room. Again, dated but (pretty) clean. Fun fact: the closet in the Steinhatchee Inn was humongous and the closet at the Holiday Inn barely big enough to hang my travel bag. What ever happened to happy medium? But anyways, I got all the suitcases, bags, and groceries upstairs and settled in.
Now the “GPS stalking” began, where I am gauging when to leave to arrive about the same time wherever Ralf’s first check point would be – so far, I always found him. This time was no exception, but I am always relieved when I actually see him (and Brian). I pulled off the road, onto the short side path leading to a barricaded entrance a primitive camp site, right at the Suwannee River, around 6:20 PM. I delivered a gallon of water to Brian, who stayed behind for the camping part, and collected Ralf and Coco. Ralf was sad that he again missed out on the camping and camaraderie, but there was just no way for him to do that part.
Day 2 (83 miles): Mayo to the Big Bend (Scouts Lodge)
Roll-out was at 8 am, which meant a very early start for us. Ralf and I have his morning routine down by now, which helps to reduce anxiety. We arrived around 07:30 AM at the same spot where I picked Ralf up the evening before. While Ralf was getting Coco ready, small groups of riders emerged from the wooded path behind the barrier, including Brian. Finally, just after 8 AM, team cyborg departed for the next segment of the Forgotten Florida adventure.
And me? I was actually grateful that I was able to return and stay in the same hotel. No packing, hauling luggage, and hunt for the next early check in. After I got back to the Holiday Inn, I intended to take a shower but discovered that the maid took all the used towels but didn’t leave any fresh ones. After a trip to the front desk, I was informed that the towels needed to be washed first before they get re-distributed. Hmmm, ok, that’s a new one. But ok, I decided to get some breakfast in the meantime. After a couple hours the towels arrived, and I took a leisurely shower, followed by an assassination attempt of the ancient hair dryer that was mounted to the wall. When I was drying my hair, a teeth-shattering “BANG” originated from the device, which was unfortunately close to my ear, then the hair dryer started smoking… “shit, shit, shit!!!”, I quickly pulled the plug and made sure no flames were in need to be extinguished. Awesome. Since I needed a hair dryer to also blow-dry some of Ralf’s bike outfits, I again headed down to the front desk. They actually delivered a spare Conwair dryer that looked much fitter than its deceased predecessor.
In the meantime, I also found other creative ways of drying Ralf’s shirts. Fun fact though: when I returned from picking up Ralf and Coco that night, I realized that the shirt in the window was now very visible and kind of looked like someone was hanging there, lol!!!
Oh, yeah, speaking of picking up Ralf from the second check point. The second night, most riders stayed at Scouts Lodge, which is an amazing structure in the middle of Florida’s “Big Bend” jungle. Getting to the general area was easy enough, but after I made the left turn on an unpaved path, my silly GPS happily announced, “you have arrived!”. Ahm, I have?? But, where..?
I had two choices: turn around or keep going. As it turned out, I was lucky that the GPS said anything at all, since suddenly I lost signal –not even one bar, a true “no signal” scenario. Again, awesome. Well, I took option two and slowly bounced along on the beating path ahead in hopes of a sign. Ha, and there it was: the sign was there in form of Ralf, who raced back from Scouts Lodge to find me (even though he wasn’t sure which way the GPS would end up sending me). Boy, that was a relief for both of us, lol.
Ralf loaded Coco in the back and then we drove another couple miles through uncharted territory, back to the lodge where the other riders where indulging in pizza and beer. Did I mention the bugs though? Yeah, being out there in the jungle, especially at dusk was… intense. I had doused myself in Deet, but holy fudge, those mixed clouds of flies, mosquitoes, and god-knows-what were all over the place. But the Scouts Lodge itself was AMAZING! Wow, wooden cabins on stilts, in the middle of nowhere. So cool! In fact, they were air-conditioned and had inside plumbing! The inside look somewhat like the cabins at the Wallaby Ranch. Maybe next time, Ralf could try and stay there overnight. The best part to me though was the owner’s super-friendly, cute doggie that was roaming the grounds. Puppy!!!
Now it was time to get back to the hotel. Ralf needed to get his routine and meds going, and it was getting late. In addition, he discovered a tick on his leg – thank goodness for his multi-tool device, featuring tweezers. However, we now have invested in an official tick-removal tool for future reference.
Day 3 (68 miles): Big Bend back to Steinhatchee
Take-off on day three was scheduled for 9 AM. The hosts of the Lodge offered home-made biscuits and gravy for the riders, and I brought some doughnut holes as well. We were early enough to hang out a bit and say hello before Brian and Ralf mounted their bikes to tackle the last leg of the journey.
As I waved Ralf and Brian good-bye, I dawned on me that I now had to find my way back to civilization myself. There were only two turns to be made – just the right ones, lol. When I came up to the very narrow “bridge” though, I knew I was on the right track. Made me feel a little like Indiana Jones (and not the screaming female sidekick).
I negotiated a late check out for noon at that Holiday Express. Better than nothing, I suppose. The initial projected finishing time of day three was around 4 PM. However, poor Brian began to struggle with the heat and associated dehydration a bit. Besides, he was still recovering from the past year’s surgeries and complications, so this started to add up. That put Ralf and Brian way behind schedule, so the new projected time was closer to 6 PM or even later. Therefore, I had to plan my day accordingly.
When I opened the door to leave five minutes to noon, the poor maid was already waiting right in front (scaring the living hell out of me), ready to clean the room. Even though that made me feel a tad guilty, the hair-dryer incident and towel thievery from day one justified giving me refuge for my last day, I think.
As I opened the rear of the Element to load the luggage, I found a stow-away, which I am pretty sure we picked up at Scouts Lodge. Anybody who knows me is aware of my arachnophobia. I don’t do spiders, like hell no! So here it was, brown, big, and disgusting, sitting right behind the driver’s seat in the rear. Out of reflex, I grabbed the first available spray (a bottle of Deet), in hopes to permanently disable the creature. I know, I know, since Deet is a repellent, all it did was making the spider a loner, since none of her buddies would go near her now. But it doesn’t really kill anything… and boy, she was FAST! I sprayed, she ran, and disappeared …. somewhere. Awesome. I looked for her everywhere, but she was gone. Nothing I could do about it. I was still in Perry, Florida – 3 hours from home. I still had to pick up Ralf in Steinhatchee (eventually). So I put her out of my mind for now…
I ended up sitting in the hotel lobby at a desk until 4:30 PM, writing my proficiency report for work. Not very exciting but necessary (and airconditioned). At least I got that off my pretty full work to-do plate. According to GPS tracker, Ralf and Brian were still a couple hours away. It would take me about 30 minutes to get to Steinhatchee but I also wanted to pick up some snacks and Subway sandwiches to feed Team Cyborg upon their return. I bounced from Walmart to Subway, hoping that the cooling elements will last long enough to keep the food cold(ish). Then I decided to hit the road, which was thankfully a two-lane, straight shot. I saw movement in my lane from the distance, so I was able to safely swirl around the creature the was trying to cross the road (no idea why). As I looked into rearview mirror, I was overcome with guilt: should I pull over and help the creature across to avoid getting hit by traffic? Well, if it was a tortoise, absolutely! But this was a small alligator… sorry dude, I really don’t think you would have appreciated the gesture. I truly hope he made it, though.
Without further incidents, I made it back to the parking lot of the Steinhatchee library. Sadly, the only car left there was Brian’s… all other riders already finished and dispersed.
But that’s ok, Team Cyborg will make it, with no man left behind. So I parked the Element and waited…
I did stay inside the car though, especially since mutant-bugs were filling the air during the late afternoon hours. I could hear them “pong, pong, pong” off the windows. In fact, I was surrounded, lol!
Shortly before 6 PM, the GPS indicated that the arrival was eminent!
I had my (iPhone) camera ready to go to capture the moment, and at last: Here they come!!!
After some recuperation, change of clothes, and food, Ralf loaded Coco in the rear and Brian packed up his gear. We felt really bad for Brian that he had to drive the 3-hours back home alone… But that was unfounded: his awesome wife Kim stayed on the phone with him the entire time to make sure he stays awake and makes it home in one piece! Now it was time to make the final journey back home ourselves. Thankfully, Ralf insisted on driving – despite my insistence to volunteer. A good decision, as it turned out…
The forecast predicted a significant thunderstorm for later, which was unavoidable. But we were still two hours out when the real drama unfolded. We were somewhere on a highway, Ralf driving in shorts and sandals, when he suddenly said, “something is crawling on my leg”, while simultaneously reaching down to scratch said leg, and when he put his hand back on the steering wheel, there she was!!!! The Deet-sprayed, stow-away spider from the morning, taking the wheel!!! I am so proud of myself, as I started to chant “ooookay, oooooookay, oooookay”, while controlling my breathing and initial instinct to just leave the car to the creature and exit the car at 65 mph. Ralf was also not too happy about this invasion but calmly put on the signal and pulled over. When he was moving the steering wheel, the spider followed counterclockwise to defend her position. Ralf stopped the car, got out, and tried his best to evacuate the spider. The Deer clearly didn’t slow her down, so instead of leaving, she found a crack and disappeared somewhere into the dashboard. Awesome. I guess she was determined to relocate to Orlando. In the good news department: as proud as I was on my subdued response, I don’t know what would have happened if I was in the one driving… in hindsight, I WAS driving half the day with that very possibility. I just didn’t know it…
Needless to say, the remaining two hours where a little more filled with anxiety, especially when it was getting dark. I did manage to capture a beautiful rainbow on the way, which unfortunately turned out to be the precursor of the looming thunderstorm we were about to drive into.
Despite zero visibility and a spider on board, we made it home unharmed. Welcome home, Ralf, Coco, and persistent spider, welcome home.
What an accomplishment: 215 miles through Florida’s nature -against all odds.
And here are some pictures Ralf and Brian took, which are a lot more scenic than mine:
Happy Birthday
May 26 also marked another year under my belt. I almost forgot but was reminded by Ralf, who calls it “the most important day of the year”. I am not quite as enthusiastic about my ever-progressing age, but since it was inevitable, I enjoyed a nice Margarita at Don Julio’s. As a surprise, Ralf booked a beach resort getaway in Vero Beach for June, so that trip is coming up shortly! Let’s see if I can get bikini-ready in time, lol.
