I am resuming to update my blog in hopes that it may help me process and come to terms with what has happened. I will have to do this in increments, as I am in a very dark place right now. It is already February 2025, but during the remainder of 2024, my world was ripped apart… I was ripped apart, so I wasn’t able to bring any of it “to paper”.
Let me start with our trip to Miami to renew my German passport. Unfortunately, there is no way to do that online, so I had to show up in person at the German Consulate on April 26th, 2024. Ralf’s last hospitalization was only in mid-March, but he insisted on coming to support me. The German consulate staff is rather difficult to work with and I don’t remember a single appointment that went smooth. I was very hesitant though, given the long car ride and being so far away from home.
The drive to Miami was long but Ralf tolerated it pretty well. We stayed at a hotel in Brickell again, the neighborhood Ralf and Ponce used to live at for a while, long before we met. It was lovely weather, so we strolled through the streets, and he showed me around, telling me stories about his past. We ate something light at a Mexican street café, and he so enjoyed the food so much, even though he picked his meal carefully due to his sensitive digestion.
But then he paid the price: during the night, he started showing symptoms: abdominal pain, nausea… so at 1 AM, I started researching local ERs close by and looked up reviews. By the time I picked one, Ralf was in dire need for steroids, Zofran, and pain medication. So I got the car from the valet, took my documents for the upcoming appointment at the consulate, and drove to Florida Mercy Hospital ER in Miami. They did take good care of him, and thank goodness, didn’t give us a hard time about the interventions he needed to treat his particular presentation of bowel obstructions. They also had single occupancy rooms with a nice view.
Even though I was not just so very tired and concerned, I still needed to get to the appointment at the Consulate. If I missed that one, I wouldn’t get my German passport renewed, which I needed to take care of my mom and Karl-Heinz. When I got there, I had to wait in the lobby forever until I was allowed up.stairs. When I checked in, I naturally got the lucky number 13… and it went down from there. Long story short, that lady who served me was snippy and gave me a hard time – regardless of my circumstances. I left with a 50/50 chance that my passport would be processed without issues.
I had a good cry in the car, pulled myself together, and drove back to the hospital to be with Ralf. He had to stay for two nights, especially since the ride home was 4 ½ hours long, which really concerned me. I had to extend the hotel stay as well, and they let me keep my room. After discharge, we started the long drive home, and we made it somehow… but what I didn’t realize at the time: something had changed, signaling the beginning of the end.