3-Year Update: Just Keep Swimming

In this Update:

• L5/S1 Lumbar ADR: 3-Years Later and Still going Strong
• Some Progress, Some Setbacks
• Making the Best out of Things
• The wonderful World of Simulation
• A Blast from the Past!
• Happy 11^th Anniversary

L5/S1 Lumbar ADR: 3 Years later and Still going Strong
My last update was posted on December 31^st, 2020, and even though four months have passed, I will start out with a self-assessment of my LP-ESP disc that has been part of my spine for three years. In the past couple of years, I had X-rays taken annually. However, I decided to change to every other year (unless something unusual comes up). So how do I feel? Well, even though I have kind of neglected my rehab during this last year from hell, my back actually feels even better since the last update. The overall tightness in my neck, shoulders, and back has eased off, and I have no pain to report in my lumbar spine. It is pretty amazing that I don’t feel something “foreign” in my spine, and never have. I can bend, lift, and twist without any issues, so I am just grateful at this point and hope that I have many more good years to come. I guess, three years is not really considered a “long-term” outcome, but I’ll take it. Next year, I will get X-rays again to compare, but I truly don’t expect any drastic changes. I take my calcium every day to keep my bones strong, and I will hopefully get more motivated to resume a structured workout program soon.

However, I have finally faced a different elephant in the room that has set up shop in my right anterior hip since spring of 2020. I first noticed that there is something wrong during my workout at the gym (just before the first lock-down). I was doing foot-elevated lunges, which never been an issue for me, but when I went down with my right leg, I couldn’t come back up due to intense pain in my right groin. Ever since then, I have had this deep, dull ache in the anterior hip region that was aggravated by certain movements, such as squatting, twisting, or fast walking. However, due to all the madness, stress, and fear that made up most of 2020 due to COVID, I sucked it up and ignored it. When the new year came, I promised Ralf and myself to start taking better care of myself. So, I went to investigate what’s happening in my hip. My new physical therapist, Lynn, was pretty sure that I had a tear in my labrum, … aaaand he was right. After getting an MRI of my hip, the report revealed a “shallow anterior tear with fraying." Great, that is just great. After everything I went through with my back: insurance nightmares, trying to find the right procedure, finding the right surgeon, I feel like it starts all over again. In fact, the first surgeon (who put in the order for the MRI because "I know you will ask for one") told me "well, if you were in your twenties, I may have referred you to someone to scope you, but at your age..." His approach, thus, in my case, is for me to pretty much "just suck it up and live with it." Needless to say, I didn't follow up with that guy.

Well, next Monday I have an appointment with a different orthopedic surgeon, who specializes in labral tear repairs. Let’s see what the recommendation and prognosis will be.

Some Progress, Some Hope
I am not going to lie: the pandemic, being a frontline worker in the ED during the first two waves, lock-downs, political insanity, Ralf’s health issues, Karl-Heinz’s stroke (when I had to travel to Germany twice in the middle of the pandemic), starting a new job, while living in isolation from society and constant fear of getting Ralf sick has left a mark. I have crumbled a bit under the circumstances, and I am still struggling to find a way to live in this new reality.

I saw this picture posted somewhere a while back, and it really spoke to me. It kind of sums up how I feel about the world right now…

But with that being said, there also have been glimmers of hope: I got my second Pfizer vaccine on January 8^th, 2021, which was a big relief, knowing that I eliminated Ralf’s biggest risk factor of getting infected – me! I am also a lot less anxious when grocery shopping or going to work, which has been a step in right direction.

Not counting the unspeakable madness that took place at the Capitol on January 6^th, the political climate has much improved, and I am hopeful that this country has now a chance to maybe recover from all the hate, greed, and lies. At least the new administration has really sped up the vaccination efforts in this country. Because of an executive order from Florida’s governor DeSantis, people like Ralf with preexisting conditions were excluded from being vaccinated. “Seniors first” was the motto, and to make things worse, the vaccine rollout was slow and inefficient. But after the Biden administration took over, things started to move. So Ralf was finally getting his (Moderna) vaccine the beginning of March. He just got his second dose, so by mid-April, he should have significant immunity as well.

Making the Best out of Things
Speaking of vaccine screw-ups, Europe really dropped the ball on securing enough vaccines and resources to vaccinate their citizens. Instead, Germany has been in lock-down (changing from severe to moderate back to severe) since mid-December, and it was just announced that the lock-down will be extended to at least mid-April. But since they can’t get their act together, I am sure that will be moved out again soon. My poor mom has been “imprisoned” in her new apartment and is only able to walk Bella or go to the grocery store. The weather has been mostly nasty too, so it can get really lonely and depressing after all this time. At least she was able to pick up Karl-Heinz again a couple of days a week, so that has been an improvement. He is doing reasonably well, and the nursing home is taking good care of him. Also, both are now vaccinated (my mom should get her second shot next week), but that was only due to the fact that they both belong to the DRK nursing home complex. I try to make the best of things and talk to my mom almost every day. We also video-chat (via Whatsapp) when technology isn’t getting in the way.

Her “carrot on the stick” is my impending visit. I really wanted to fly back to Germany beginning of February to tend to my mom and take care of a few thing related to Karl-Heinz. However, since the lock-down keeps getting pushed out, I still wasn’t able to even book a flight. But when the time comes, I will be able to speed up my travels because I just got my Global Entry membership approved.

Ralf continues to struggle with pain and gut issues, and it is so hard to find a GI specialist who actually thinks outside the box to help him. In addition, his own mom needs a triple open heart bypass surgery which will take place in mid-April, and his tumor markers are due. He may or may not go through another colonoscopy/endoscopy, depending on his current GI's office getting their sh#$ together. But we still try to go on our outings on some weekends to spend some time together, away from all this. One phenomenon I observed is that ever since the pandemic, a lot more people find their ways to the outdoors. The parking lot at Split Oaks was so full the other day that cars were lined up on the side of the road as well. Downside: you run into people more often, which is what we have been trying to avoid.

So we started to explore new and old places that are more remote and, therefore, have less people going there. We ended up on some really nice hikes, and one plus living in Florida is our nice weather…

 We also visited the Wallaby Ranch on one occasion to meet old friends (while socially distanced) and watch some hang gliding action.

The wonderful World of Simulation
Ironically, the one thing that has really going well for me is work. I have only been in my new position as Simulation Coordinator for about ten months, but I have come a long way. Putting all my energy on building this Simulation Lab and getting things moving serves as a great (temporary) distraction from my worries. As a result, my career appears to accelerate, and I am now collaborating with peers across the country. I even learned how to share my screen on Teams, which became necessary due to multiple presentations I had to give lately. I am also educating myself on the more “technical aspects” of simulation-based education, since the Simulation Technician position has still not been posted. Another specialty that I am also deeply involved in are Virtual Reality projects, which is very cool...

I guess it is a little creepy that I get body parts delivered in boxes, and that I dismember manikins, prime fake arms with fake blood, and hang them up to dry later. I love to use my manikins as props, and I have named them all. Yes, I do talk to them sometimes, but I figure as long as they don’t start talking back, I am ok…

A Blast from the Past
Oh my goodness, this was the strangest thing that happened in a long time! Even though I sometimes wish that I had more pictures from my time as an adolescent, I am also grateful that not all the crazy things ended up on social media, like it is the case today. To my huge surprise, that isn’t entirely true: when I was just shy of turning 14, we moved from Hannover city to this tiny village Hotteln, which had 500 citizens. That was not only a culture shock for a young teenager like me due to the size of the place, but also due to some really old, local German traditions are really a thing there. I think we hadn’t even lived there for a year yet when the time came for the annual “Putze Tanz Fastnacht.” The entire village was so involved and excited, and this celebration (which was supposedly based on true events) took place outside in the streets all day and ended up in the main “event hall” late at night. Part of the tradition involved masked guys (Plumpsäcke) running through the streets to “beat up” older children and girls with a stocking stuffed with socks. I am not even sure how I ended up talking about this event to Ralf a couple of weeks ago, but I couldn’t remember the name of it. A quick google search yielded more than I bargained for: a 15-minute documentary, sponsored by the state of Niedersachsen, from…. 1990!!! Yes, the only year I was actually there! And guess who was beaten up by masked guys in the beginning? Moi!

And guess who else appeared multiple times in this documentary: my mom and Karl-Heinz! In fact, my mom was the same age as I am today when that took place. Now, let me just say, this whole event is just bat-shit-crazy, and anybody who is brave enough to watch the video footage may think we all lost our minds… Judging by my mom's and Karl-Heinz's' expressions, they couldn’t quite process what was happening either!

Happy 11^th Anniversary
April 1^st is our designated anniversary date. That was the day I moved in to look after the Ponce while Ralf was away for a freediving course… and I never left. That was 11 years ago, and I can’t even remember what life was like before Ralf and I became an item. Due to the pandemic and other issues, we couldn’t celebrate by going out. However, we got take-out from a fancy place and had a nice meal together at home. Happy anniversary, Sweetheart!